On Thursday, I thanked the doorman as he held the tall glass door to the Crowne Plaza. I was so nervous, I nearly tripped on a crack in the marble tile, but I caught myself before anyone saw. I wore my favorite white blouse that accentuated my figure and some tight jeans. Of course, Tyler wouldn't be able to see that yet, though, because I had a down black jacket on over the top. Before I had any more time to panic, Tyler stood from a plush leather chair and shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

This did not seem to be the same man I had remembered. The image of Tyler I held in my mind from three weeks before was tall, muscular, and confident—commanding the martial arts studio and the bar. Now, Tyler’s baggy Dockers and polo shirt left him looking small and sloppy. My heart sank as I recalled the image of Mouse’s large, muscular body slamming the door on his way out. Tyler’s unzipped fake leather jacket hung from his shoulders and appeared worn beyond normal clothing life expectancy. His goatee looked scraggly. What seemed before to be beautifully carved cheekbones now seemed to jut from his pale face in the overhead hotel lighting, but his dark brown eyes were captivating. He caught me in his gaze and smiled. I pushed Mouse out of my head and smiled back at Tyler.

Tyler must have e-mailed me from home that night. When I checked my e-mail in the morning, his was there, time stamped 12:11 a.m.

Good evening, Lori,

I missed you tonight. The black belt test
was boring and sweaty, as predicted, but we went out to The Tap Room afterward. I think Master H might have been on to me because he asked if I was expecting someone when I kept looking around. Oh well.

Anyway, I’m home now and have to get up early, so it’s off to bed with me. Sweet dreams, Lori.

Master Tyler

The fact that he wanted to see me so much swept over me. I had wanted to see him, too, but I still thought about Mouse every second of the day. My emotions were bouncing back and forth between feeling down when I missed Mouse and feeling ecstatic when I thought of Tyler. Overall, it was exhausting.

I wrote back—

Hello, Master Tyler!

I fell asleep in front of the TV last night. I know, lame, right? I guess I needed it, though, because I only woke up once to get into bed and then I slept straight through until my alarm went off this morning.

I’ll still see you on Thursday, though, right? 5:00 at the Crowne Plaza? I’m looking forward to it. Is there anything special you want to see? Er, besides me, of course!

Lori

I left it at that. The week would drag until Thursday, but it would go too quickly at the same time.

Master H never budged about the closed test. He told me I had more important things to focus on. He always seemed to speak in cryptic messages like that. I wasn’t sure if he meant I should focus on Mouse or work or tae kwon do.

While the black belt test was happening, I turned the TV on and Interview With a Vampire was playing. I snuggled into the couch to watch it.

Without realizing I fell asleep, I woke up at 12:30 a.m. The TV was still on, featuring an infomercial about rubber hot pads that protect your hands from anything hot and help you grip jar lids, too. 12:30. Tyler would be home again by then. I was sure he would have caught the 11:17 train back to Milford. So much for going out again. I picked myself up off the couch and went to bed.

I loved to e-mail Tyler lists of questions. He apparently liked it, too, because he would answer every one, as he did in this e-mail about the following Thursday—

Hi Lori,

Hey, it’s me again. I figured I would take a 10-minute break. And who better to take it with than you?

Should you meet me for lunch on Thursday? Yes and dinner, too. No Sushi for me, though. Well, maybe I would try it again. (Why did you take a big gulp?)

Actually, I was going to speak with Master H and maybe train there or teach class that evening. Who knows? And why is eating sushi fun? Maybe I missed something when I tried it. That’s it—I didn’t have fun when I ate it. That explains it all.

Oh, no!! I went from cute and adorable to silly and now nuts? YIKES!! It is hard to keep my personalities straight.
Tyler loved that he was a Gemini, the sign of the twins. There were two of him, one cute and smart and the other, a monster.Actually, I do act crazy sometimes. Can that be the Gemini in me? My alter ego. It’s the kid in me coming out. It is tough acting like an adult all the time. Maybe it’s all the caffeine. (I am running out of excuses.) Don’t you wish sometimes that you could just be 21 again with no responsibilities? There is a lot of pressure in the beginning of the month. Acting crazy is one way to relieve it. You ought to see me in class after bad days like these. At the end of class, the windows and mirrors are so steamed up that you can’t see anything.

What have I told Ringo? Actually, not much. I told him I e-mailed you and joked around with you a little, and you e-mailed me back, rather surprised to get an e-mail from me. I also reminded him of the bet. I really did not get into any details of our e-mails (For My Eyes Only). I do not like to flaunt my personal life. I am more of a conservative—not much into bragging or kissing and telling. I just confided in him that I did e-mail you.

So you haven’t been invited yet by Master H? Hmmmmm. What to do about this? Well, I think your missing class the past few days might account for you not being asked. You should get on the phone and call him. Use the force, feel him out. Explain that you missed class because you were sick. Ask him if he still is having a closed test because you would really be interested in seeing me, no wait, I meant to say in seeing the black belt test. When Ringo spoke with him a couple of days ago, Master H said he was going to invite some people.

Ringo actually requested lots of women. Ringo is like a Casanova. Anyway, I think that you should take the initiative. It is all in your hands now.

81st and First Ave. Should I write that down somewhere? Not that I could ever find it. I do not even know how to get to Master H’s school.

Too many numbers. You need street names. You know the other thing I am confused about? Uptown and downtown. I just cannot grasp that concept. Do I take a subway uptown or downtown? That is so confusing. They should just say what they mean and stop confusing us foreigners!!

Well, I do not want you to get into trouble. Just pretend you are doing work when you read this. It works for me. And if you do get caught, let me know and I will beat him up for you. (Unless he is some guy the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then I might have to side with him.)

Well, break is over. Man, 10 minutes goes by quick. (Just finishing up my Double Stuffed Oreo Cookies. I love to break them apart and eat the insides. Sorry, off the subject, just a little sidetracked). Deadlines to meet. I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Just kidding!

Don’t forget. Call Master H. Tell him you were unsure of the schedule change. Yea, that’s a good excuse.

Well, I am off. Need to get out of here on time—I'm going to NY tonight. *grin* 

Tyler

He wrote back—

Hi Lori,

Notice lately we haven’t spoken of my "geek" problem. I think I am finally over it.

Yes, my glutes are pretty tight (grinning). Probably one of my better assets. Ahhhhhhh. No pun intended. I think it has to do a lot with kicking. I think the cycling helps also.

What do I weigh? You should know never to ask that of a man. But since I know you—between 195 and 200 pounds. About two years ago, I weighed between 165 and 170 (with only about 4% body fat). But, I actually feel stronger being a little heavier now (I also bet my body fat is a bit higher now).

Well two more sets of financials to finish. Then the dark cloud is lifted.

Later, gator.

Tyler

Tyler didn’t seem to be too concerned about his marital situation when it came to me. He outright told me he wanted to see me, and there was no doubt that I wanted to see him and get my mind off Mouse. I smiled as I turned to my work e-mail, which was overloaded from my sick day. I was determined to see Tyler that night.

I wrote—

Just me again...bugging you yet?

That's it, I am done for the day. Our computers just crashed, and I lost a bunch of info I just posted, so now I am really aggravated. Hope your evening is better.

Goodnight.

I am really looking forward to next Thursday. Remember, 5 p.m. at the Crown Plaza.

Meet me there.

Lori

I wanted to throw in a little kicker at the end, so I added—

P.S. Tell me more about you. What do you weigh? Are your glutes tight?

I figured that would keep him thinking about me.

The next day, I forced myself out of bed and into the office. While I still could not bring myself to eat anything, I sat at my desk drinking green tea with my knees pulled up inside my XXL sweater. The sky was gray, and the dreary clouds blocked any possible sunlight from entering my office. I turned to my computer screen, determined to get some work done. My first e-mail read,

Good morning, Lori.

So how is the sick kid today? Going to play hookie again? Well, I am here bright and early again today. Another busy
day ahead of me. I have a lot to do in the next week to meet deadlines, and with me leaving early today and missing a day next week for a conference, time is short.

Speaking of the conference, guess where it is going to be held. NY, you say? Is that your final answer? Are you sure that is your definite final answer? Correct!! NO, you do not win a million dollars. I’m not that rich. It’s going to be at the Crowne Plaza. (By the way, that was my Regis impression.)

So did you see the tree lighting? You live right in the city, don’t you? It is probably a hop, skip, and a subway ride for you. Speaking of which, you work in NJ. Do you drive to work? Take the subway? If you drive, I am really impressed with you. I could never drive in the city. Yes, that’s right. I am afraid. Ok, I said it. For the first time in my life, I am afraid. Just kidding. That was my Rocky impression. You know, when he was on the beach talking to Adrian about fighting Clubber Lang (Mr. T). I’m sorry, no more impressions. Ok? (I am a big Rocky fan.)

Anyway, after class, Ringo, Pancho and I went out for a beer, and we saw the tree lighting on TV. He mentioned he sent you an e-mail. Did you get his? I didn’t tell him I e-mailed you. I told Ringo that I did. Me and Ringo go way back. Despite our large age difference (he is 47 and I am 33), we get along well. I can entrust him with certain info. By the way, I reminded him of the 20 dollars he owes me for losing the arm wrestling match to you.

So, the all-important question—are you going tonight? I hope so. I would really like you to.

Well, I have a ton to do, and so little time to do it in. But I already said that.

One more question. Do you get HBO? Have you ever seen the series Taxi Cab Confessions? Does stuff like that really happen in NY cabs? I mean, I sit on those seats, too. Just curious.

I lied, I have one more question. So, what do you enjoy? Besides working out? You know, like music, activities? I want to know more about you.

Now I am really going.

The Master Blaster
a.k.a. Tyler (Now I’m making my best Bruce Lee face.)

I slept for two hours on the couch with Quentin and Mangus curled up next to me. Quentin's long, fine white hair clung to my pale blue pajamas, but I didn’t bother to wipe it off. I sat up and pulled my hair away of my face. The late morning sun was slanting through the windows onto the hardwood floor, permeating the apartment with bright heat. Dust swirled in the yellow light, and I traced the path of a cat hair caught in the movement of the air. It drifted out of the sunlight and disappeared just as it would have passed in front of the TV. My eyes refocused, and I saw the martial arts tapes Master H had given me.

The situation rushed back to me, but I still felt the need to e-mail Tyler. These emotions would not just go away, and I was much too attracted to him to let it all end now. My whole body hurt, but I stood and shuffled to my desk to write an e-mail.

Hi there, Tyler.

Guess what? I got sick last night and am home today. I’m not sure what it was. I was feeling terrible. I haven’t been home sick in years. It felt like I had food poisoning. Anyway, here I am home alone.

Married! Just what I had imagined…not at all, actually. I know e-mail is innocent and all, but…not that innocent. I figured maybe you had a girlfriend. After the e-mail when you said that you were sorry for some of the things you had said (being too forward), I kind of figured something was up.

I’m not mad at you. I am attracted to you also, and I couldn’t help myself, either. Yes, your e-mail did get my attention. Since you had given me your personal e-mail, I never assumed you were married. I would guess that your wife might see your e-mail, and that would get you in some big trouble. I suppose you are not 100 percent satisfied with married life. It has its good points. Do you feel like you cheated? Probably not. Thank you for letting me know, and maybe in my next e-mail, I will tell you some things about my situation so you don’t feel so bad. I’m not married, just to let you know.

I have to go because I am starting to feel sick again. Oh well. Goodbye for now, karate clown.

Talk to you later,

Lori

My stomach was already churning again by the time I reached the end of the e-mail, but I leaned back in my desk chair to let the information sink in. Tyler was married? What the fuck? Ok, slow down. I realized he and I had nothing in common. I could live with the fact that he did not like sushi. But I was in complete shock that he was married. In a relationship, maybe, but married? A sour taste forced its way into my mouth, and I ran for the bathroom.

Tyler's e-mail went on.

Ok, now the more difficult question. What about my raging hormones? (Scratching my head.) Well, let’s just say, these raging hormones can get me in trouble.

Trouble? you ask. Yes, trouble. I take it now you did not know, and actually I kind of figured you did not know after we had exchanged all of these e-mails, but I am married.
Before you slap me, let me explain. Boy, this sounds so bad. At the bar, I guess you missed the part of the conversation where I had mentioned it. And when I sent the first e-mail to you, well, I kind of sent it innocently enough, although it was not so innocent the way I wrote it, was it? I couldn’t help myself. (Foot in mouth.) Honestly, I am very attracted you. (There, I said it.) Maybe that was why I sent you the e-mail in the first place, to get your attention. I should have told you this after the second or third e-mail you sent me back because, at that point, I kind of knew you didn’t know.

Lori, honestly, I did not want it to end. The reason: I like you. You are very attractive, feisty, love to workout, funny, and hey, you like to get in a good fight. What more could a guy ask for?

Ringo talked with Master H last night, and Master H still wants to keep this a closed test. However, Master H was going to ask some people to join us after the test is over. You are probably going to be asked. If you could make it, I would really love to see you again.

Well, I guess I better go now. This is getting to be a long e-mail and well, who knows if you will even respond to me. I just want to be open and honest with you from the beginning. Please do not be mad at me.

Tyler

P.S. I liked the cartoon of the kicking martial arts guy. He kind of looked like Ringo with short hair.